Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
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He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
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Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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