they need to just BURY HIM!
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
