He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
