im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
