I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
