I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
