Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
vagina is talking i cant
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
