She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
