i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
