I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
