im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
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There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
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Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I love you. Go after that dick
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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