I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
