I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
