Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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