Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
