The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
