I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize