but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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