Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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