"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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