Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
