We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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