The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
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I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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