I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
