Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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