I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
