Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
