hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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