When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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