The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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