and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
