I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
