There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize