I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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