does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
