just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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