People in love make me want to vomit
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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