that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
