What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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