One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
