im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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