Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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