I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
