i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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