Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just want to make out with him forever
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
