Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
