I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
