yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
