Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
