I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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