I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
