he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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