Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
