R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
