imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
