3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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