take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize