Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
3 2 1 whiskey
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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