Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
