Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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