she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
